Negima TruthDare
by theprincedonte
Summary: Come one come all! Feeling cruel? Then dare the cast of Negima till they go crazy. Feeling gossipy? Then have the cast tell you all their deepest darkest secrets. Note: First attempt at a humor story.
1. Rules

Hello and welcome to Negima Truth/Dare! I'm your host Donte!

Please move your gaze to the right and you shall see my wonderful assistant Zero-chan. She shall tell you the rules for this story.

Chachazero- "Listen up and listen good, I'm only going to say this once and if you forget I will cut you. The rules are as follow.

Rules  
>1. No more than a total of seven dares and or truths. These can be in any combination as long as they don't exceed seven and meets the min. of four.<br>2. Keep the dares/truths PG-13. No exceptions.  
>3. Donte and any future co-hosts have the power to accept part of the darestruths if they violate any rules.  
>4. Submit via review. If they are sent as a PMS then there is no guarantee they would be accepted.<br>5. If you read the rules put chamo at the beginning of a review failure to do so shall result in partial or complete rejection.

Donte- "Thank you Zero-chan, you can go play with your knives now." (Chachazero skips off stage and sounds of victims fleeing from the adorable sadistic puppet are heard.)

There you have it; Negima Truth/Dare has officially started. But first a moment of silent mourning for the story that inspired this, Negima! Truth andor Dare written by Vastler75, who's story was pulled by the administration.


	2. Episode 1

"Hello and welcome back to Negima TruthDare!" The camera zooms in onto Donte, who was lounging on a lawn chair gazing over the sea. His assistant, Chachazero was busying creating a castle out of the sand. The tranquil peace was shattered as the chibi vampire stormed onto the beach.

"Get the hell off of my resort!" Eva fired off a powerful ice spell only for it to be stopped by a wall of iron sand, which appeared out of nowhere.

"Ah thank you Sasori-san, take her away but don't do any permanent damage," Ignoring Eva's cries of rage Donte turned towards the camera and began, "Well that was my chief of security, Sasori! Now our first set is from theeptiomeof… too long! I'm calling you Random!"

_**chamo(or did you want a acII text IMAGE of chamo?)(jk)**_

should be interesting

Negi: Dare: stare at Evangeline while doing nothing else for 10 minutes.

Chamo: Truth: why EXACTLY were you turned into an ermine?

Chisame: Dare: give us a flow chart for perfect cosplaying.

Misora: Dare: attempt to visit al without an invitation.

Kazumi: Dare: steal one of Mana's guns, Chachazero's knives, and Chachamaru's key. make sure Sayo gets this and the resulting chase on film.

Zazie: Truth: do you know how to juggle?

Eva: Dare: challenge Jack Rakan to a fight at your resort (ive always wondered what that would look like).

on a side note: are any characters from Negima available? if not, please specify who is and is not allowed

this sounds good by the way

"Well of course you truth/dare anyone that's the point of this show. Also you can do non-Negima characters as long as it follows the rules. Anyhow truths first." Chamo and Zazie walk out onto the beach.

"So Chamo why were you turned into an ermine?" questioned Donte.

"I was born as an ermine." As he said this, Chamo started sweating heavily and glancing nervously around.

"LIE!" A giant voice boomed out from the heavens scaring Chamo half to death.

"Chamo tell the truth or I'll tell Setsuna what you did to Konoka's panties." Stated a now sadistically smiling Donte.

"Okay! I'll talk just don't tell her, I'm too innocent and pure to die. The truth is, it was female mage day at the bathhouse and I was caught peeping"

"Why am I not surprised?" Muttered Donte underneath his breath. "Do you regret it at all?"

"NO! It was totally worth it."

"Really now? Well in that case Zero-chan could you be a dear and get the visitors." Minutes later the air thickened with righteous female fury as the female mage's arrived onto the beach having watched the whole thing on cable. Chamo turned tail and ran but was quickly caught. "Well while Chamo is being reacquainted with old friends lets continue with Zazie."

"…"

"So can you juggle?"

"…" Zazie starts juggling live chainsaws.

"Now for the dares so Negi, Chisame, Misora, Kazumi and Eva get over here now," Turning back towards Zazie who was still juggling Donte said, "Zazie how about you go for a swim, and Negi instead of it being ten minutes you are to stare at Eva till I say stop or either one of ya'll are sent to the hospital."

"Alright who wants to make bets on how long it'll be till Eva blasts Negi-sensei?" Kazumi is instantly swamped by other students who wanted in on the action.

"Chiu cosplay chart now."

"I'm NOT Chiu! But at least this is a sensible dare," Chisame drags a flat screen, projector and her laptop form somewhere and begins, "Listen up in order to have the perfect cosplay…"

One Hour later

"Got any eights Yue-san?"

"Go Fish Fate." Grumbling Fate drew from the pile.

"Hit me." Looking at his cards Kotaru swore loudly as he had busted only to be hit by a leek. "Language Ko-kun." Chastised Chizuru.

Eva was trying to shake Negi off from staring at her in all her chibiness. Chamo was in the hospital and Rakan was checking the girls out as they played around in the water.

"…The fabric is highly important mainly due to the fact that it can make or kill your costume. I prefer using a combination of silk and cotton…"

Two Hours Later

"…And that's how to make the perfect costume, any questions?," Chisame's ire rose as she looked around and saw how everyone was either asleep or playing cards, except she couldn't tell if Negi was asleep or not; he had his eyes open but he was unmoving. "Wake up you BAKAS!"

Only to get hit by a pillow, from a very grumpy Donte, "Shut it Chiu, Kami I hate mornings. Zero-chan take over I'm going back to bed." Donte pulled out a hat and covered his eyes as he lay down on the lawn chair asleep.

"Yes Master," Zero jumped up from making her castle and onto a specially designed stool so she could better tort- talk to the students, "Nunny go find Al."

zzzZZZZZZZzzzzZZZZ.

"Sushi-chan earn your keep and wake her up!" A giant water dragon rose up and collided onto the snoring form of Misora waking her up instantly.

"NO DON'T HURT THE TELLETUBIES!" Everyone just stared at Misora who saw that everyone was just staring at her. "What?"

"Telletubies?" Asked Eva who was barely able to restrain her laughter.

Reddening Misora replied, "Shut up!"

"I like the red one." Negi said to no one in particular as he continued to stare at Eva.

"Dude what are you smoking?" Asked a very shocked Kotaru.

"Blackmail!" Cackled Kazumi.

Then a yellow and green blur jumped out and started stripping Misora of her cloths and forcing the purple costume onto her, while saying "Yatta! New friend!" The crazy twins barely finished forcing Misora into the costume when another water dragon crashed onto them. They turned back to see an annoyed Zero and Kisame.

"Thanks Fish sticks! Misora go find Al now." A purple clad Misora sulked off to try and find Al, while Kisame went back into the water grumbling about disrespectful puppets.

"Kazumi your turn." Kazumi took one look at the card before shaking her head rapidly.

"Nah nah, no way not for the Great Scoop Almighty will I do this and die for someone's amusement."

"Alrighty that's fine. Kimimaro, bring out the Wheel of Misfortune!" A giant wheel made of bone rose from the ground; the wheel is divided into six sections with pictures in each one. There is a bunny, a hole, a sword, a snake, a dinosaur and the letter F. "Since you refused to do the dare you now suffer, spin and cry! MUWHAHAHAHA!"

Everyone takes a giant step back from the mad puppet as Zero cackles insanely. Kazumi spun the wheel only for it to halt onto the hole. "The hole what's that supposed to mean?" Inquired a terrified Kazumi.

"Throw her into the rabid Fan Pit of Doom!" Zero laughed madly as the sand beneath Kazumi disappeared and she fell into the pit. Kazumi's screams of terror could be heard for miles that is until Zero plugged the hole with duct tape.

"Now it is time for the fight between Jack the Pervert versus Eva the Chibi Vampire!"

Due to Technical difficulties and the fact that Jack had destroyed the cameras the fight will not be shown. Instead please enjoy reading these pointless words as a substitute for the fight.

After the Fight

"Winner by KO, EVA!" Boomed that same voice that had scared Chamo earlier.

"Hey squirt, how you manage to win?" questioned Asuna.

Pointing over her shoulder, everyone's eyes followed Eva's finger towards a giant block of frozen ice where Negi was froze. "Human shield, now that'll show him what happens when you stare at me." Then everyone ran away from Eva in terror. Shrugging it off as the students being their normal, (relatively speaking), selves she turned around only to see a very irate Donte.

"I'm trying to sleep here! For waking me up you get to be tormented by the Forbidden Sunset." Donte grabbed Eva and vanished from where they stood.

Somewhere

Donte deposited Eva in an open field before vanishing again. Growling Eva tried to move but her limbs wouldn't respond to her commands. The same was said for her magic. She had resigned herself to boredom till she saw two blurs racing towards one another. Before she could cry out for help the two stopped and talked to one another.

"YOSH LEE YOUR FLAMES OF YOUTH BURN BRIGHTER THEN EVER!"

"YOSH GAI-SENSEI IT IS ALL THANKS TO YOU THEY BURN AS BRIGHT!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

The two spandex wearing men started hugging each other as a mini sun appeared behind them; the ocean which appeared out of nowhere had waves crashing down on either side of them. In all it was the most horrifying sight Eva had ever seen.

Beach

"Heh, that'll teach her to wake me up. Now for the next two is . I'm serious that's the name. Automatic BUST! From now on anonymous reviews will still be accepted but a signed review will be given priority over unsigned reviews."

Eva's screams could be heard faintly from the beach, scaring everyone present. If the sadistic vampire was screaming then that meant it had to be terrible. "Next up is

_**Chamo**_

1. Negi and Chisame-Dare:They should date with Negi In his 15 yr old version while Chisame doing cosplay

Konoka-Dare: switch places for one week

ChaChamaru-Dare: confess to Negi while wearing a her pactio outfit

4. Chizuru- truth: why the hell are Kotaru and Natsume afraid of you?

"So Chizuru why are the mutt and Natsumi scared of you?" Inquired Donte as he settled back into his lawn chair, ignoring Kotaro's muttering of being called a mutt.

"They're not afraid of me that's just how they are, isn't that right Natsu-chan and Ko-kun?" replied Chizuru. Aforementioned people nodded their heads vigorously, fear clearly etched onto their face.

"Sure whatever you say. ChaChamaru your turn."

"Donte-san Negi-sensei is still frozen in the ice." Replied the android.

"Itachi get him out," A giant fireball hit the ice melting it and revealing the frostbitten Negi inside. Tossing a box to the origin of the fireball Donte continued, "Well since Negi is going to be out of it, DARE BUST! Maru take him to the hospital."

Nodding ChaChamaru picked Negi up enjoying the feeling of holding the object of her desire to her chest. "Well guess I gotta go get Eva." Donte sunk into the ground and reappeared moments later, holding a traumatized Eva.

"What happened to her?" questioned Setsuna who had never thought it possible for the sadistic Dark Mistress to be terrified.

"You don't want to know." Donte replied as he withdrew a giant ice bucket from behind a tree and dumped it onto Eva. The results were instantaneous as Eva attempted to gouge her eyes out with her own fingers. Sweat dropping Donte said, "Guess five hours was too much for her."

Ignoring the confused looks Donte hit Eva repeatedly on her head with a catfish till she had calmed down. "Now will you behave and not cause trouble?" asked Donte all too sweetly; Eva quickly nodded her head her desire to live outweighing her anger.

"Excellent! Now Hitomi fire the laser!" Dual beams of red hit Eva and Konoka then as quickly as it started it ended.

"Well how do you feel, any extra limbs or lack or limbs this time?" asked Hitomi as she took rapid fire notes down the affects of her BODY SWAPPER 2000©.

"Uhh my head hurts." Said Eva as she stood up and promptly hit her head on a random tree branch. "Bloody Hell, who put that bloody tree branch there?" Everyone stared as Eva in Konoka's body started destroying the unfortunate tree branch. There was a crash and everyone turned to see Setsuna had passed out, apparently the fact that her not-so-secret crush had started cursing and acting all violent had been too much for her.

"Oh to clear things up Eva is now in Konoka's body and vice versa. They will still be called by their original names though. So Eva will still be called Eva even though she is in Konoka's body," Explained Hitomi who was already modifying her machine.

"Well off you go and have fun." Stated Zero as she stared shoving the body swapped kids out with her knives.

"While their having fun next dare and will someone wake Setsuna up. Since Negi is still bedridden, I really need a better medical team, Chiu will spend the day with him at the hospital! Zero-chan go pop an aging pill into Negi please. Chiu go dress up." Zero skipped off to the dungeon where Negi was being kept while he recovered and Chisame sped off to the dressing rooms to change. Asuna just tossed Setsuna into the water, where Setsuna woke up and sped off muttering "That was a weird dream, must stalk…protect yeah that's right protect Konoka."

Five minutes Later

From the changing room appeared Chisame cosplaying as… Anko Mitrashi! Whistling at the level of detail she put into Donte said, "Excellent job Chiu, you even got the sadistic eye gleam down! Now go to the dungeon room 1408 and take care of the patient." Smiling sadistically the Anko lookalike skipped to where Negi was.

"Well while their having fun let's see how the Eva and Konoka are doing all swapped up."

Back in real world With Eva in Konoka's body

Eva was enjoying freedom for the first time in over a decade from the Hell known as school. From beyond the barrier she was seeing sights and drinking herself into oblivion, apparently Konoka's body had a ridiculously high tolerance for alcohol. The only way for it to be better was if Setsuna stopped stalking her. Apparently no one had bothered to tell Setsuna that the swap was real and not a figment of her imagination. After Eva caught Setsuna spying on her in the Hot springs, she decided to give her a very interesting show. In the end Setsuna was admitted into the ER due to mass blood loss.

With Konoka in Eva's body

Konoka had transformed Eva's creepy home of cobwebs and puppets into that of a massive tea party. The once dimly lit main room was now brightly lit with mini tables were the puppets were sitting, waiting for their tea. Eva's once fearsome battle dolls were stripped and now wore frilly princess dresses, complete sparkling tiaras and the like.

Back to the Beach

"Well that was interesting," commented Donte who had already started a betting pool on Eva's reaction when she saw her new wardrobe and house. Rakan was writing down in his notebook and letting out a perverse giggle at the show Eva did for Setsuna and the twins wanted to go to the tea party. "Sadly all good things must come to an end, Hitomi reverse the laser."

Reversing the batteries, cause that's the only way to reverse things, Hitomi flipped the switch. Konoka went from pouring tea for ChaChafour to a very revealing nurse's outfit in front of the patient Setsuna. Eva was just about to leave and head over to the nearest bar and get smashed when she ended up back in her house, pouring tea and wearing a frilly maid's uniform that was bedazzled. The giant scream of outrage could be heard all the way over on the planet Pluto.

Grumbling Jack handed over a twenty to Zero who added it to her growing pile of cash from the bets. "Next Reviewer!"

_**Chamo**_

1. Nodoka dare: Call Evangeline a little loli who sparkles in the sun

2. Chisame dare: Cosplay something saucy (still within the PG-13 range) for the rest of the game

3. Setsuna truth: Do you really harbour yuri feelings for Konoka? (the answer to which is obvious but still could be fun trying to get the truth out of her ehehe)

4. Kaede dare: Perform sexy no jutsu!

5. Asuna truth: Why are your eyes two different colours? (Negima abridged reference haha)

6. Chizuru truth: Are those breast real? ¬_¬

7. Negi truth: Out of all of your students, do you see any of them as girlfriend material? (*restrains Ayaka*)

Nice idea having the readers have an input in the outcome of the story, can't wait to see how this will turn out ^^

"Enough though Setsuna is in the hospital, I just hacked their security feed and viola instant footage! I love technology!" Stated Chao as her robot's brought a flat screen onto the beach.

The screen turned on to show Konoka still in the nurses uniform, snuggling next to Setsuna who was a never before seen shade of red or was that just more blood from her nose? "Well if that isn't a yes I don't know what is!" commented Asuna.

"Asuna speak of the devil! The next one's for you." Donte commented as he kicked the flat screen into the ocean.

"Really? Is it about how Takahata-sensei will be mine? Or is it going to let me beat up that pedophile Ayaka?" Asuna was basically jumping up and down with joy.

"No but its equally interesting if not more so than what you just said, well for the fans anyway." Donte added under his breath. Curiously Asuna leaned in to read only to stand up and shake her head no.

"Well normally you'd do the wheel but I got something better if you talk." Leaning over Donte whispered into Asuna's ear only for her to let out a very perverted giggle and nose bleed.

"Well when you put it that way, the truth is that Konoka told me that Takahata would fall for me if I had different colored eyes, so I had Hitomi perform and eye swap!"

Crickets are a chirping.

"And you never asked why she had a spare eyeball lying around? Wait never mind I bet that thought didn't even cross your mind. But seriously Asuna how gullible are you?" inquired Ayaka.

"Enough with Asuna's lack of intelligence, next truth. Jack and Chamo this one's is tailored made for yawls' talents."

Jack and a wheel chaired Chamo gained perverted grins but are smacked down by leeks. Chizuru drags them while smiling but with eyes filled with the promise of pain.

TRUTH BUST!

"Well let's go take a look onto the date of Chisame and Negi, Chao switch to camera 69." Giant robots relift the screen from the ocean and back onto the beach, the screen blares to life only to be covered in blood from the present girls.

"Donte-san, I'm ready for my date with Ne…" Chisame's blood was quickly added to the already considerable amount on and around the TV.

"Master if Two-face is there than who's that with Negi?" asked a confused Zero who was wondering why all the blood was coming out before she returned to building her sandcastle.

"This lawsuit is going to kill me," Muttered Donte, glaring daggers at the TV, "Well I guess Anko was bored and she just went along with me when I thought she was Chisame. Jaws get over here and start cleaning the blood up while I start the memory wipes." A smirking Kisame waltzed out the water, grinning at the best name he had been given thus far while Donte started wiping the minds.

15 minutes Later

"Finally now that's taken care of, Negi since you just got out of the hospital after a completely uneventful stay which girl is the best girlfriend material?"

"Well there's a bunch of fine jailbait in my class," at this Nodoka and Ayaka fainted while Asuna started to crack her knuckles, "But the best one would have to be Kaede. Ninja's are awesome!" Negi's eyes turned to stars as he started to worship Kaede.

Sweat dropping Donte resumed speaking, "Ah well now it's time for Nodoka's turn." Nodoka took one look before paling in fear, but the thought of being thrown into the Rabid FanPit of Doom or worse was enough to steel her resolve.

Walking over to Eva, Nodoka said "You are a loli who sparkles in the sun." Afterwards she quickly hid behind the now massive European style castle Zero had finished building.

Slowly Eva took a step towards Nodoka's hiding spot, her fists crackling to life from the amount of magic she was pushing through them. Fearing for their friend's safety, Yue and Haruno tried to rush forward to help them but tripped over a still unconscious Chisame and rock each. Eva raised her fist and shot a wave of black magic towards Nodoka's hiding spot.

The front door of the castle opened Zero so painstakingly built opened as Zero stuck her head out calling, "Donte-kun come look at what I made!" Sadly Eva's blast connected before Zero had a chance to realize what was going on, kicking sand up obscuring everyone's vision. When the sand cleared Nodoka was huddling on the ground and Eva was fleeing. Donte was standing in the ruins of Zero's castle, one arm holding a scared zero and his right bandaged arm was glowing fiercely with an unnatural power. Setting Zero on top his head, Donte moved faster than the eye could see, one moment he was in the ruins the next he had Eva in a choke hold. Donte sunk into the ground and reappeared moments later, Eva's screams of terror could be heard from the beach scaring everyone. "She scared Zero-chan and destroyed her art." Donte said to the unasked question.

"Last Dare, Kaede perform now!"

Kaede took out a smoke bomb and tossed it onto the ground, only to keel over in laughter. She laughed till tears ran down the side of her face, hands clutching her aching sides. A team of puppets appeared , some picking up Kaede from the ground and to Sasori so he could extract whatever it was that was bothering her and the others were sealing the lingering smoke cloud into a jar for later study. A puppet picked up a card and handed to Donte.

"Joker's new portable laughing gas! Guaranteed to put a smile onto your face!" read Donte aloud. Handing it back to the puppet Donte turned towards the last surviving camera man and said "Well there's the end of the pilot episode of Negima TruthDare! Tune in next time for more randomness!"

**A/N: Thanks to the ones who helped in the reviewing! **


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